after the honeymoon
Whoosh. Back from the cabin and still spinning a little bit. An excellent weekend with a perfect balance of games old and new, short and long, fiddly and flowing. But something surprising came up that I’m still chewing on.
Of the table games we played, three were new to me: Castles of Burgundy, Mutant Chronicles: Siege of the Citadel, and Glory to Rome. Each is certainly a respectable and enjoyable game in its own right, but for some reason, each was a struggle for me. I found myself quickly irritated by one aspect or another of each of them and tended towards swift dismissal of their worth. My focus was squarely upon their shortcomings and I’m not sure that I would say that I “liked” any of them. Where did that come from? What happened to the berv of old, diving into a new game with multiple back-to-back plays and spun into excitement by the ongoing process of discovery? Each is not categorically different from all the games we’ve played in the past and, strangely, I had no such issues with those games. What’s going on in my head?
To take a stab at introspecting on all this, I think that my present framework for experiencing games is overmuch a critical one. “What is this? How is it different from other games I’ve played? How is it the same? What’s compelling or intriguing?” And, shouting down all these other questions: “What aspects don’t I like about it?” Perhaps I’m unconsciously assembling a mental compendium of design notes, setting myself up with a “How would I do this better?” And maybe there’s nothing wrong with that. But I don’t think it’s healthy to engage with games (supposedly the medium I’m devoting my life to) if enjoyment simply isn’t a possibility. I’m thinking critically, which might be good for my design proficiency, but I need to return to thinking exploratively; to take everything in and appreciate my mental synthesis of the experience as a whole rather than valuing it only for what I can learn from it.
I’ve been noticing this problem with video games, too. The only thing that tends to bring me back to a game these days is that sort of ill-founded completionist drive that leads me to resent the game it’s focused on. I blow through freeware games, often in less than a minute, and I haven’t sunk my teeth into anything in quite a long while.
Hrmm. I need to enjoy games again.
bervquest 